Every Rose has its Thorn
by Moiranne Rose
Summary: Songfic: You're bittersweet, and it's my misfortune that that's my favorite flavor. Rated for safety.


**Challenge Fic: True Love? (I added the question mark)**

**Every Rose has its Thorn**

**Summary: Thoughts of a sleepless night and an impossible relationship. This fanfiction piece can be either classified as SephGen (wootz right?) or TsengReno. But I like Sephiroth and Genesis more, so this is for them I guess. Written in Sephiroth's POV.**

**DISCLAIMER: They aren't mine. None of them. I don't even own FF7 or a Playstation...**

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_Also for someone everyone at home knows, but thankfully, not here._

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_We both lie silently still  
In the dead of the night  
Although we both lie close together  
We feel miles apart inside_

We'll never be together. I know this. This won't last. So why are we bothering at all? Well, you'll wake up and walk away to tell your friends of the newest notch on your bedpost, and I'll let you go, unable to get away from Sleep's embrace. But I'll nurse that secret world, that imaginary world, where you'd wake up and smile and hug me and…well, I haven't thought that far yet.

I feel you shift in the bed. Well, at least you're asleep. I'm awake, staring, tracing that crack in the ceiling. I wonder what happened a few hours ago. I remember alcohol. Yes, lots of good quality, mind numbing alcohol. And there was music, and dancing, maybe? I'm not very sure; my mind wasn't functioning as it should have.

Then there was a lapse in time (for me at least) and then a dragging-stumbling-pulling-pushing (hardly walking), and then activities. Mind-blowing yes, amazing was an understatement, then what? We collapsed into sleep, after some hours of happiness, we collapsed back into our nightmares.

_Was it something I said or something I did  
Did my words not come out right  
Though I tried not to hurt you  
Though I tried  
But I guess thats why they say  
_

I wish I had the courage to say no. That way, neither of us would have gotten hurt, and neither of us would have found our dreams written in each others' hearts. If we hadn't done what we did, maybe waking up wouldn't be such a dreaded thing. It would still be the usual protocol check, the spars, the laughs, the anger, our days like those before. But this now has changed everything we ever wanted, we ever loved, and we're letting it take control.

Even though the whispers clothed in night and the groans that fill the silence had been forbidden and so _wrong_, I relished in the thrill of it, even when I tried to keep myself silent and cold. But you worked at me, crushed my iron-hard resilience, made me vulnerable, fallible and _human. _And I am letting you.

_  
Chorus:_

_Every rose has its thorn  
Just like every night has its dawn  
Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song  
Every rose has its thorn_

_Yeah it does_

I have been up for most part of the night, hardly daring to drop off to sleep. I fear that once I do, you will slip out of my embrace, and go on your way. I know the amount of notches on your bedpost, and the sad fact that I will join the ranks of them. You seemed like you meant it when you whispered on my skin, "I love you." But, I guess that's what you've told every person that's come by your bedroom.

I whisper your name into that red mane of hair that you have, fingering it slightly, sadly. You'll never know what I did after you fell asleep. That I stayed up just to savor this night's magic. That I sacrificed tomorrow's duties for this.

_  
I listen to our favorite song  
Playing on the radio  
Hear the DJ say love's a game of easy come and  
Easy go_

_But I wonder does he know  
Has he ever felt like this  
And I know that you'd be here right now  
If I could have let you know somehow  
I guess_

I guess you never were one for faithfulness. You're known all over the office to be able to bunk with three operatives at three different times in the same night, while still making it to work on time. Asleep, you don't seem evil or anything other than an angel. But I wish to ignore that you ever weren't one.

Mine. I wish I could claim you as mine. Write my name big on you. Hold you and never let go. But you were never made to be one to love forever. Maybe you've accepted the fact I can't take, that Love, True Love, is impossible in ShinRa.

_Chorus_

_  
Though its been a while now  
I can still feel so much pain  
Like a knife that cuts you the wound heals  
But the scar, that scar remains_

_I know I could have saved a love that night  
If I'd known what to say  
Instead of making love  
We both made our separate ways  
_

After that night, I find it hard to look at you and not remember. When you brush past me to head for some mission or the other, I find it hard not to think of it. Just as I had thought, you'd been gone once I woke. I left my quarters soon afterwards, trying to tell myself to forget. Then, not 100 metres away from them, I found you again, and all of them came back, the floodgates opened. I wish that night hadn't happened, yet I'm happy that we did what we did.

Only you have this effect on me. The effect that has me hanging onto every word, every syllable, every movement or action you make.

_  
But now I hear you found somebody new  
And that I never meant that much to you  
To hear that tears me up inside  
And to see you cuts me like a knife  
I guess  
_

I saw you with someone else at night, just the night after. In the corridor, thought I wasn't looking right? But I did. And I can't say what happened when I saw that. I just turned and walked back to my quarters, though each step felt leadened with dread, guilt and this feeling I can't place. I get into bed, hardly remembering to take of my office clothes, and stare at the ceiling. 24 hours ago, you were in my arms, and I thought that I had found heaven. 24 hours after that, I found that I had lost it again.

You were perfect in every way. I thought I was perfect in every way. You stepped into my life and turned it upside down, inside out, filled me and broke me, and then left without a backward glance. All I remember was your red hair turning the corner at the end of the corridor, your hand already in someone else's. And I'm crying inside, but you can't see it. I'm bleeding inside, but you can't see the blood welling up and spilling over.

Is it so wrong to say that I miss you?

You were bittersweet, and it was my misfortune, that that was my favorite flavor.

_Every rose has its thorn  
Just like every night has its dawn  
Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song  
Every rose has its thorn_

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**A/N: Angst is what I do best, so angst is what this is. I had to rate this T-M, but hopefully, it should have passed off as T. Review I guess, and make me happy?  
**

**Moiranne Rose**


End file.
